Condoms are the best way to protect yourself from getting sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, herpes, and others. While STIs are very common throughout the world, rates are highest among gay men, gender non-conforming people, and trans people who have sex with cis men.

Many times, people who have an STI don’t realize it, and can end up passing it on to their sex partners. You can have an STI and not have any symptoms. Many STIs are curable, but some aren’t. Condoms (used with water or silicon-based lube to help prevent breakage) can help you protect yourself in situations when you’re not sure if your partner has an STI.

Condoms (used with water or silicone-based lube to help prevent breakage) can help you protect yourself in situations when you’re not sure if your partner does or doesn’t have an STI.

If you want to avoid breakage, make sure you’re putting them on correctly. And if you only use condoms sometimes, it’s a good idea for:

  • HIV-negative people to take PrEP
  • All people to consider taking doxyPEP to prevent chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis

Condoms protect against infections that can be spread through semen (e.g., HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia) because they catch the semen to prevent it from passing on an infection. They also create a barrier between vaginal/front hole and anal fluids that may spread similar infections.

Condoms can also protect against some infections that are spread by skin-to-skin contact, like herpes and syphilis. But, if there are skin lesions or sores – and some may be too small to see – that aren’t covered by a condom, there’s still the risk of passing an STI on to someone else. Other STIs like scabies and crabs aren’t prevented by condoms because they are passed primarily through pubic hair and skin contact.

Condoms work best with lubrication. It’s especially important for people having anal sex with condoms to use lube, and lots of it. Lube prevents condoms from ripping or breaking, or from causing chafing.

Many condoms are already lubricated. You can also use your own water- or silicone-based lube. Don’t use oil-based lubes like baby oil or petroleum jelly because those will damage latex condoms.

Like anything else, practice makes perfect. If you’ve never used them, try buying a variety of them and see which one feels the best.

Read below for more thorough instructions on how to put on condoms. They look long, but again, with a bit of practice, it can all be done very quickly.

Roll On Condom (Condoms put on a penis)

  1. Storage: Keep them in a cool, dry place. Don’t keep them in your wallet or in your car. If condoms get too hot or too cold, they’ll be more likely to break or tear.
  2. Check the quality: First, check the foil wrapper for tears. Don’t use a condom if the foil packet is damaged or opened. Check the expiration date. Don’t use a condom if it’s past the expiration date.
  3. Open the foil wrapper: Open the foil wrapper carefully–you don’t want to tear the condom. Don’t use your teeth or fingernails.
  4. Check the condom: Make sure the condom looks OK to use. Don’t use a condom that is gummy, brittle, discolored, or has any holes in it.
  5. Start rolling the condom on: Put it on when the penis is erect.
  6. Leave space for semen: No need to worry about this if the condom has a “reservoir” tip. If not, pinch the tip of the condom enough to leave a half-inch space for semen to collect. Holding the tip, unroll the condom all the way to the base of the erect penis.
  7. Use lube: Besides making sex feel better, lube helps prevent condom breakage. Only use water-based or silicone-based lubricants. Don’t use oil-based lubricants (like petroleum jelly, shortening, mineral oil, massage oils, body lotions, and cooking oil) with latex condoms. Oil-based products can weaken the latex and cause the condom to break. Put the lubricant on the outside of the condom.
  8. Check the condom: Feel free to check every so often during sex to make sure it’s still on. If you feel the condom break at any point during sexual activity, stop, withdraw, remove the broken condom, and put on a new one on.
  9. After ejaculation: Before the penis gets soft, grip the rim of the condom and carefully pull it off. Make sure that semen doesn’t spill out when the condom comes off. You or your partner may also want to pull it off and ejaculate somewhere else (someone’s chest, or the bed, for example).
  10. Throw it away: Wrap the condom in a tissue and throw it in the trash. Don’t flush it down the toilet.
  11. Use a new condom: Put a new one on if you want to have sex again, or in a different way, or with a different partner

Insertive Condoms (Condoms you put in an anus or vagina/front hole)

There are also insertive condoms. You can use insertive condoms for vaginal/front hole or anal sex. They are usually sold or marketed as “female condoms.” Insertive condoms are ones that a bottom wears. But, make sure that you don’t use an internal condom and a roll-on condom together. This can lead to tears because the two condoms can rub together, creating friction that makes them break during sex.

You can learn more about insertive condoms here.

Don’t worry. There are lots of condom options for people who have latex allergies, although non-latex condoms tend to be more expensive than latex condoms. Latex and non-latex condoms, though not lambskin, work equally well to protect against STIs. Here are the options:

  • Polyisoprene: These are the most recent condoms to be brought to market. Polyisoprene condoms have a soft, natural feel that conforms to skin–similar to latex.
  • Polyurethane: Polyurethane condoms are thinner and stronger than latex condoms, and transfer heat more efficiently, which some say increases pleasure.
  • Lambskin: Lambskin condoms, which are made from the intestinal membranes of lambs, do NOT protect against STDs or HIV. Do NOT use lambskin condoms if you need protection.

Wet is wonderful! First things first, lube is an important part of sex that increases pleasure and comfort for all partners. If you’re into fisting or using large toys, lube can make it more comfortable and help you avoid injuring yourself.

Secondly, using lube decreases risk of transmission of HIV, STI, and bacterial infections. When someone’s hole isn’t lubricated (or wet) enough, inserting a penis or toy can cause microtears in their skin. These make it more possible for any STIs or bacterial infections to enter into their bloodstream.

  • Water based: Water based lubes are great for any type of sexual encounter. They’re safe to use with silicone toys and both latex and non-latex condoms, but make sure to use plenty and reapply often.
  • Silicone based: Spend less time searching for the lube bottle and more time playing. Silicone based lubes are longer lasting and are safe to use with condoms. Although they feel great, silicone lubes will deteriorate silicone based toys over time.
  • Oil based: Great for massages and one squirt will take you a long way, but oil based lubes and latex condoms do not mix well and may cause condoms to become damaged even if they don’t look broken. If you’re using condoms to help prevent STIs or pregnancy, your lube alternative should not contain any oil.
  • Flavored: Only for oral or other play outside of the body. The sugars in flavored lubes can cause yeast infections if used during anal or vaginal/front hole sex. Want to use it for nipple play or oral? Just make sure to wash well to remove any trace of sugars.
  • Numbing: These lubes contain small amounts of topical anesthetics to remove sensations, mostly used to avoid pain during anal sex or allow tops to last longer. However, not feeling pain means you may not be able to tell if something is wrong and you need to stop. If you’re using numbing lube, be sure to stop frequently and check that you or your partner are not injured.

Click here to find the lube that fits what you’re into.

If you don’t have access to lube, there are plenty of alternatives. Different everyday items can be used in place of lube—see a list of lube alternatives here.

What about spit? Spit dries very quickly and is not a condom-safe substitute for lube. If you aren’t using condoms, using only spit as lubricant can be uncomfortable and cause injury/microtears.

Additionally, spit isn’t the best for anal sex since your ass doesn’t self-lubricate. For folks who have frontal/vaginal sex, spit sometimes can do the trick. However, it shouldn’t be relied on as your only form of lube.

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